It’s me again! That guy who used to write an Anime blog. And also sometimes wrote about video games. And… Blood on the Dance Floor…
So umm… Hey there! How is everyone doing? I hope you’re all doing well and that the last half a year has been a good one! Truth be told, it’s been a topsy-turvy year for me, with peaks and throughs. But the last month in particular has been absolute bliss for me for several reasons.
And today I’d like to talk about one of those reasons with all of you. And I hope I can provide, not only some insight into what this means for me as a person, but also a more positive and factual perspective on a state of mind and identity that is widely misunderstood and unfairly negatively portrayed both in fictional media and on the internet.
I am Leth. And I identify as Plural.
For those who are perhaps uneducated on the subject, a Plural individual refers to someone that has multiple consciousnesses co-existing within themselves. In my case, I have a second identity within myself with their own personality, mannerisms, preferences and individuality.
And honestly, I have been repressing my other self for a very long time, which I strongly believe is one of the major causes of my long-lasting depression, because doing so has prevented me from embracing my true self. For the longest time, I haven’t felt like myself. I always felt like something was missing. And in this case, it was someone who was missing. My other self: Yuki.
Yuki is a girl who shares my existence with me. She likes cute clothes. She enjoys going for runs. She likes to bake. She loves animals. She likes to collect plushies. She’s an avid gamer. And she enjoys listening to Kawaii Future Bass music.
This is a very minimal profile of who she is, what she likes and what her personality is like, but simply put: She is a major part of me. And has been for a very long time.
But I only truly accepted her as a part of myself very recently. Since doing so, I have been absolutely euphoric. I’ve felt like a completely new person. I’ve felt whole. Complete. And it feels wonderful. So fucking wonderful. I’ve barely even thought about my depression since because I feel so complete and at peace.
I’m well aware how silly this all probably seems to a lot of you. I’ve already experienced my fair share of negative reactions from people in my life that I’ve attempted to come out to in private. Many have been supportive of my identity as a Plural, but I’ve also had a few people voice concern that something is “wrong” with me, that I’m “ill” or that this is “dangerous” and “offensive” to people who have personality disorders.
So, I thought I’d give my perspective on what it means to be Plural. Both from my own personal experiences as one, and as someone who knows quite a few others, and from actual scientific studies that have looked into Plurality and what it actually is and how it affects people.
So I guess I’ll start with addressing the big talking point about Plurality:
“Plurality is a mental illness and you need to seek help and fix yourself”
No. No I don’t. Because it is not a mental illness. It is an abnormal condition, and it is something that is not considered “normal”. But a mental illness is not simply “something that is weird” and to define it as such is severely misusing the term in a way that is quite frankly dangerous.
A condition only classifies as mental illness if it has a negative impact on a persons life. If it causes them to become dysfunctional or brings them distress or makes them a danger to themselves and those around them. Plural people can be mentally ill, and this is what we refer to as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). But not all Plurals suffer from DID, as DID specifically requires that a persons other consciousnesses disrupt their lives and make it impossible for them to function as a regular member of society.
Yuki does not negatively impact my life. If anything, she brings a lot of joy to it. She allows me to express myself in ways I never could before. To embrace parts of me I have kept locked away for over a decade. This is not voluntary. It isn’t something I have control over, but it also isn’t something that impairs me or makes me a danger to society.
So no. It does not need to be fixed. If all “weird” things needed to be “fixed”, all outsiders in society or people who embrace cultures that are different from what is considered “the norm” in our society would all be mentally ill and need to be fixed as well. Just think for a second how absurd that sounds. Something being odd does not immediately make it a mental condition. You just don’t understand it. Or you’re weirded out by it. And that’s okay! Within reason.
We live in an age where people have never been more free to be themselves and express their individuality. And I for one believe that anyone has the right to identify however they wish, so long as they are not actively harming the identity of others.
There is nothing harmful about being Plural. Not to myself and not to the others around me. I’ve had people tell me that identifying as a “healthy” Plural delegitimises those who suffer from conditions such as DID, but DID and Plurality are not the same thing. They are entirely different types of existences, and while there is some overlap, they are generally considered to be mutually exclusive from one another.
I’ve also had people say that Plurality is a “delusion” and truth be told, before I came to terms with being Plural myself, I also believed that this was the case. But like with the “mentally ill” talking points, this is a gross misuse of the term. A delusion is defined as a belief that contradicts observable reality that the person firmly believes in, no matter how much objectively true evidence is provided to disprove it. The experience of being Plural does not contradict observable reality, and has in fact been studied and observed on a scientific level. Nor does the belief that individuals within a Plural system are real people as there is no scientific consensus on what actually makes a person a person, and there is no scientific proof that another consciousness within a Plural person is not their own person. From a logical standpoint, the people that claim that global warming isn’t real are more delusional than your average Plural person. No one’s calling them mentally ill, are they?
There’s a lot more to all this than I’ve let on in this post. But after much deliberation I decided that the best way to come out about this was to do so on my blog. This platform has always been a place for me to express myself about anything. Whether it be Anime, video games, dumb niche music, or being a fan of Insane Clown Posse. And now it’s a place for me to share my identity as a Plural, as both Leth and Yuki, with the world.
I don’t expect everyone to fully understand this, or to even fully accept it. I understand that it is strange and is far removed from what many people would consider normal. All I ask is that everyone try to understand, even a little. Or at the very least, be happy for me. For us.
I will not apologise for who I am. And I will not change who I am because society demands that I do.
If you got to the end of this messy post, thank you for reading. And if you have any questions about any of this or wish to be more informed, please let me know.
It feels good to finally get this out there.
Thank you for your continued support, despite how inactive I’ve been both on the blog and in the community.
Perhaps I’ll be back to your regularly scheduled programming soon. We’ll see.
I love you all and I hope you are all well.
And that you continue to accept this weirdo, who is now probably even more of a weirdo in your eyes now that he’s come out about all of this.
Until the next one…