Blood on the Dance Floor Retrospective: Epic

This is part of a Retrospective that covers the entire bands discography. You can find the post for the previous album here. There’s also an introduction and disclaimer that you can read here, that I strongly suggest you start out with.

So after covering three EP’s, we’re finally back to discussing the main studio albums of Blood on the Dance Floor and… Oh boy is this one a doozy.

Epic is Blood on the Dance Floor’s third full length studio album, originally released in 2010 and it’s a very notable release for a few reasons. It’s the first release to feature Jeremy Brian Griffis, also known by his stage name Jayy Von Monroe, as the bands second vocalist, and also on screaming vocals. This line-up would go on to be both the longest-running and most iconic of the bands career, lasting until the end of 2016. The album is also notable for containing many of the bands most iconic songs, being a whopping 70 minutes in length, and the Deluxe Edition also having some notable collaborations with Synthpop artist Jeffree Star. More on that later…

For the longest time, Epic was actually my favourite Blood on the Dance Floor album. I loved its production, a notable improvement over all of the bands previous records, and while the lyrics of the majority of the tracks were still ridiculously juvenile and utterly stupid, the songs themselves were energetic, funny and super catchy. And to this day I still love the album a lot, and it remains one of my all-time favourites, but my opinion has definitely soured a bit over the years, for several reasons, the major one being the albums length.

At 70 minutes, Epic is a bit of a slog to get through. The album has a whopping 22 tracks, and that’s not even including the multitude of bonus tracks that come included with the Deluxe Edition. And while a large number of these tracks are among the bands best work, there are quite a few weak links scattered in between that could easily have been left out that weakens the album overall.

In terms of general sound, as I mentioned above, Epic is definitely a step up from all of the bands previous records. The production has improved a lot and while Jayy Von Monroe isn’t quite as good a screamer as Garrett, he more than makes up for it with his above average clean vocals and rapping. I’ve been giving Dahvie Vanity a lot of shit during much of this Retrospective for being a pretty piss poor vocalist, but I really can’t fault Jayy for the most part. The man is pretty damn talented, and Dahvie was very lucky to have him as his partner for half a decade, as he drives much of this, and the bands later albums, with his iconic voice and solid flow. While I miss the shit out of Garrett, Jayy is an excellent addition to the band, and it’s made immediately clear on the albums opening track.

Death To Your Heart is a fantastic opening track, and among the bands best work. Ever. With a super catchy opening melody, some great auto-tuned vocals throughout and a catchy as hell chorus, the song just fucking slaps so hard. And it also has the benefit of not being a filthy, sex rap, instead having more angry lyrics focusing on revenge and hatred. There’s even a really good section at the end where Dahvie throws in some pretty solid rapping (by BOTDF standards). It’s an excellent opener, and it sets the tone of the album perfectly.

Beautiful Surgery is another fantastic track that focuses on a character who’s obsessed with plastic surgery and uses it to cover up their imperfections and present themselves as flawless, eventually succumbing to the reality that there will always be cracks no matter how hard they try to hide their true self. It’s a pretty great piece of social commentary, and the first time since the likes of Fallen Star and Libertine from the bands debut album that they’ve come across as more than just goofy and silly. The song also just has a banging beat, and Jayy really shows off his rapping skills towards the end of the song. It’s fantastic.

Then we have Sugar Rush which is a song I originally wasn’t keen on. At all. But over time it’s really grown on me and has become one of my favourite tracks. Ever. It has such a catchy melody that only slaps harder as the song goes on, and the chorus is absolutely incredible, the final bridge in particular being one of Dahvie’s best vocal performances ever. Jayy’s screaming vocals in the background are also fantastic (“SUGAR RUSHHHHH!”). This song is super energetic, and also incredibly unique, even for the band themselves. I love it. And I listen to it all the time.

The album also has more of the usual sexually explicit songs you’d come to expect by now, like Candyland, one of the bands most iconic and well known songs. It’s a fucking disgusting, sex-filled rap over a sleazy rave beat with classic lines like “Welcome to Candyland! I’ll split your ass in two!” and “I’ll fuck her face so hard, she is my wildcard.” It’s trashy as all fuck, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find it both super catchy and kind of hilarious. Seriously, that chorus is so fucking funny, while also being insanely catchy in the worst kind of way. I can’t hate this song, even if it’s… The sleaziest thing ever…

The same goes for Innocent High, which is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a song about teacher sex. It’s trashy, it’s incredibly sexual and it’s just really fucking dirty, but again, it’s fucking hilarious and has one of the catchiest fucking beats I’ve ever heard. And Jayy’s screaming vocals are incredible, even if he’s screaming really idiotic shit like “I missed class for this now motherfucking break meeeee!”

And there are plenty more of these kinds of songs too, but some of them are weaker. By a significant margin. Sexting for example is far and away one of the bands worst songs, and is made genuinely creepy when you consider that Dahvie Vanity probably sang the lyrics “I wanna fuck you hard, I wanna feel you deep” to his mostly teenage audience at the time during live shows. Just… No. No, no, no. I hate it. Fuck this song.

And while it isn’t a bad track, there’s also a remake of Scream For My Ice Cream on here, but with Jayy Von replacing Garrett, and while it’s still a great song, it pales in comparison to the original without Garrett’s incredible screaming vocals. I like this version, but it can’t hold a candle to the one on I Scream I Scream unfortunately.

Another notable track includes Lookin’ Hot Dangerous which was originally featured on the bands previous EP OMFG Sneak Peek, but now the song has been remastered, doesn’t sound like total garbage and has reworked lyrics that just flow together that much better. And it also features some excellent rapping from both Dahvie and Jayy, with a fantastic segment towards the end in the form of a motivational speech about how you should “be proud of being different”. As someone who’s always struggled to fit in, these kinds of lyrics mean a heck of a lot to me, even if they’re a little cringey. I love this song. A lot.

Horrifically Delicious is again another solid track, with a long, fast paced intro and a super sweet, sugary chorus that seems to blend together lyrics about love and depression. “End my strife, be wife, fuck my life, kill me twice” sounds like complete nonsense, but for some reason I find it incredibly infectious and almost relatable in the weirdest way. It’s a fantastic, upbeat dance tune.

The strongest track though would definitely have to be Sluts Get Guts, which while a ridiculously juvenile, gory song about killing “sluts”, is super fucking catchy, has some incredible rapping and screaming and has an absolutely banging, raveshit, dance beat. Catchiest fucking chorus ever, and feels genuinely creepy, in a good way. It reminds me of horrorcore hip hop in a lot of ways. It’s great shit.

But, of course, it isn’t all great. While the vast majority of the tracks on here are fantastic, there are a few tracks that are just… Fucking dreadful… There’s Sexting which I mentioned earlier and there’s also IDGAF which was also featured on OMFG Sneak Peek. This version of the song is better, but not by much, and I skip it often.

But the worst offender is most definitely You Done Goofed. Oh my god. This song. This song is one of the worst songs ever recorded. Ever. Not just musically, but also because of the context behind the song. You’ve probably heard of Jessie Slaughter, the girl who’s dad was the origin of the “cyber police” and “consequences will never be the same” meme. Well, this song is about her. Because her original claim to fame was being a young fan of the band and claiming that Dahvie sexually assaulted her when she was 11. And what does Dahvie do? He writes a song in response. Ridiculing her. Calling her a “slut”. Making himself out to be a victim. She was 11 years old. What the fuck? There are very few cases where I’m unable to separate the art from the artist, and this is one of them. This song is just… Disgusting. It’s despicable. And it’s probably the worst song the band has ever recorded. Fuck this song. It’s one of the reasons why I can’t consider Epic my favourite Blood on the Dance Floor album any more, in spite of how strong the majority of the tracks are. It makes me sick to my stomach. Think of the worst, most offensive song you’ve ever heard. Chances are this will be twice as bad. I guarantee it.

But to end things on a positive note, the final track Fuck the Rest, We the Best is a fantastic closer to the album. It’s another high energy dance track, with solid rapping, a super catchy chorus and very clever, snappy lyrics that take pot shots at pretty much every big mainstream celebrity that was relevant at the time, and saying “fuck them, we’re better.” It’s almost a diss track towards normie, celebrity culture and I love it for that reason alone. Extra points to Dahvie for shouting out the fanbase too in chorus with the lyrics “SGTC! To the very death of me!” Shit like that always hits me hard.

All in all, Epic is a very solid release, and among the bands best work in my opinion. And while it’s no longer my favourite album in the bands discography, for a variety of reasons (You Done Goofed and the bloated length, to name a few), it’s still a fantastic listening experience overall, particularly if you’re into early 2000’s EDM music. Jayy Von is also a great addition to the band and while his screaming vocals aren’t as strong as Garrett, his chemistry with Dahvie is absolutely fantastic, and adds some much needed diversity to the bands sound that Garrett could never have provided. If you go into this album attempting to appreciate it for what it is: fun, upbeat, Scene Kid raveshit with some sexually explicit lyrics and the occasional moment of MySpace era angst, you’re bound to find something enjoyable here. Just… Avoid You Done Goofed. Please. I beg of you. Don’t.

It’s a 9/10 album and it’s well worth your time, if you can see past the juvenile lyrics and slightly bloated length.

And now,  here’s some track ratings for you all:

Track Ratings:

  1. Death to Your Heart – 10/10
  2. Beautiful Surgery – 9/10
  3. Sugar Rush – 10/10
  4. Lose Control – 8/10
  5. Candyland – 9/10
  6. Horrifically Delicious – 10/10
  7. Lookin’ Hot Dangerous – 9/10
  8. Inject Me Sweetly – 8/10
  9. Sexting – 3/10
  10. Lovestruck – 7/10
  11. Scream For My Ice Scream – 9/10
  12. Believe – 8/10
  13. I’m What Dreams Are Made Of – 9/10
  14. It’s On Like Donkey Kong – 6/10
  15. Party On – 9/10
  16. Sluts Get Guts – 10/10
  17. You Done Goofed – 0/10
  18. Success is the Best Revenge – 8/10
  19. Innocent High – 9/10
  20. IDGAF – 5/10
  21. Fuck the Rest, We the Best – 10/10
  22. An Epic of Epicness – 7/10

Best Track(s):

Sluts Get Guts, Fuck the Rest, We the Best, Sugar Rush, Candyland, Death to Your Heart, Horrifically Delicious

Worst Track(s):

You Done Goofed, Sexting

Would I Recommend It?

Honestly, that depends. While Epic is most definitely one of the best Blood on the Dance Floor albums, it’s also 70 minutes long, making it a bit of a slog to get through for first time listeners. If you’re really into raveshit, and love party music, you’re likely to get a kick out of this, but I definitely wouldn’t recommend starting here. Still, if you’re a fan of Blood already, this is a must listen. Being Jayy’s first record with the band, and being the home of classic Blood songs like Candyland and Death to Your Heart, Epic is an iconic album in the bands discography. If you can get over it’s lengthy runtime and some of the weaker tracks, it’s a solid listen.

What about the Deluxe Edition?

Like previous full length albums, Epic also has a Deluxe Edition which more or less doubles the track listing from 22 to a ridiculous 40 tracks. And the bonus tracks here are actually really worthwhile.

There are two bonus versions of the songs Sexting and Inject Me Sweetly respectively, that both feature Synthpop artist Jeffree Star. And while Sexting is still complete fucking garbage, this version of Inject Me Sweetly is by far the definitive version of the song. As much as I can’t stand Jeffree Star, he does really well on this track and adds a dynamic that was previously missing from the original.

There are also a few more bonus tracks that are all unique original songs, which are all very good, but the highlight of these is the original version of Horrifically Delicious which was recorded with a very brief line-up that featured a third member “Matty M” alongside Dahvie and Jayy. This original version of the song is the only track to feature Matty out of all of the bands material, and as such it’s worth a listen for that reason alone. It’s a shame he never stuck around, the screaming vocals are incredible on this thing.

And finally, we have a bunch of instrumentals, which are basically just the background music for the majority of the original tracks on the album. These aren’t anything special, but given how much I love Blood on the Dance Floor’s beats, having some of these without lyrics is actually a real treat for me. I often find myself bumping Candyland (Instrumental) and Innocent High (Instrumental). They’re great beats.

All in all, the Deluxe Edition is definitely worthwhile, even if it essentially doubles the already ridiculous length of the album. Give it a listen if you enjoyed the original.

What about Epic: The Remixes?

So this is essentially just an album of Electro-House beats with the vocals from Epic plastered on top. Some of these are kinda cool, but for the most part this is a genuinely uninteresting album that’s kind of a waste of time. I wouldn’t say it’s worth… Anything really. I’ve only listened to it a handful of times and I have no desire to do so again. Meh.

What’s Next?

Next time we’ll be tackling the bands fourth studio album All The Rage! which is notable for including the bands most famous song, as well as for being their first step away from juvenile, sex-filled, Electropop to music with a little more meaning and substance. It’s definitely a turning point for the bands career and I look forward to discussing it.

Until next time!


3 thoughts on “Blood on the Dance Floor Retrospective: Epic

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