The Ramblers Guide: How to become an Elitist

Disclaimer: This post contains some mild cursing. I tend not to curse, but this time I felt it was necessary. Sorry in advance!

Are you sick of being a casual?

Are you bored of watching Anime for enjoyment?

Are you tired of being a pleb?

Then Elitism may be for you!

Today I’m going to present a completely accurate and truthful step-by-step guide that will most definitely help you reach the status of Anime Elitist. Just follow these steps and you’ll achieve your dreams of transcending the plebs and sheeple that populate the Anime community.

Step 1: Discard most of your favourite shows

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Before we take the first steps to becoming a true Anime fan, the first thing you’ll need to do is go through all of our old favourites and pick out anything that would be considered popular or highly regarded by the Anime community.

The best way to do this is to go to MyAnimeList and look at the All-Time Top Rated and Most Popular Anime series. If any of your favourites are on that list you must discard them from your favourites list immediately because true Anime fans don’t watch trash. Shows to look out for are:

  • Sword Art Online
  • Attack on Titan
  • Gintama
  • Naruto
  • One Piece
  • Erased
  • Fate/Stay Night
  • Code Geass
  • One Punch Man
  • Bleach
  • Re:Zero

There’s many more, but those are the ones you absolutely, most definitely must purge from your favourites list.

There are some exceptions to this though. It’s okay to like any of the following because they’re objectively good and anyone who says otherwise is a tasteless casual and isn’t a true Anime fan like we are:

  • Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood
  • Death Note
  • Monster
  • Neon Genesis Evangelion
  • Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure
  • Hunter x Hunter (2011) [But you’re only allowed to like two arcs because the rest are shit]

Step 2: Watch Legend of the Galactic Heroes

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Now that you’ve purged your favourites list of all the unworthy shows, what’s next?

Well, the next step is to watch the Anime Legend of the Galactic Heroes. It’s the best Anime ever made, it has absolutely no flaws what so ever and it is the smartest, most thought-provoking, most well written and most logical Anime in existence.

It is a masterpiece. It is objectively good and no one can say it’s bad. It is engrossing from beginning to end and never feels boring or dragged out. It has 110 episodes.

Once you’ve watched Legend of the Galactic Heroes, it must become the standard that you judge all Anime by, even if the shows can’t be compared at all. A fighting Shounen underdog story about ninjas? Better make sure it’s as good as epic naval battles in space! A Slice of Life show about a high school student who keeps falling asleep in ridiculous situations? If it’s not as good as this show about two galactic empires fighting one another in space, then it’s shit.

Also, no Anime you watch from now on will ever be as good as Legend of the Galactic Heroes, so you must now embrace yourself for complete disappointment every time you fire up an Anime series. It’s the price you must pay to become a true Anime fan. You muse sacrifice enjoyment for the sake of being the best fan.

3. Give away your entire collection

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This must all go

Now that you’ve been enlightened by the best Anime ever, it’s time to mindlessly give away your entire Anime collection. You’ve spent countless amounts on it all, but you have no need for it any more, so just give it away for free.

You don’t need those filthy Sword Art Online DVD’s any more!

4. Create a new Anime social media account

Now that you’ve watched the best Anime of all-time, it’s time to show the world how amazing an Anime fan you are. Already got a MAL or Anime-Planet account? Already on Twitter? Well, it’s time to say goodbye to the old you by making a new account on all your social media platforms!

Try to come up with a name that really screams how much of an elitist you are. Something along the lines of TrueAnimeFan1337.

Make sure you have a Legend of the Galactic Heroes character as your avatar as well, so people know that you’re a true Anime fan for real and not one of those plebs who pretends to be one of us. You don’t want to mislead people. I’d go with Yang Wenli. He’s the best character ever.

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This one should do nicely

5. Create a rating scale that suits your new taste

Now that you’re all set up on MAL, it’s time to go through all the shows you’ve already watched and rate them all according to your newly found taste after watching the greatest Anime of all time.

This is relatively straightforward. Just follow these three rules and you’ll do fine!

  • Any show that is highly rated or popular from the early 90’s or before can be rated an 8 or above.
  • Any show that is highly rated or popular from the early 2000’s and beyond are all shit and should be given scores between 0 and 6. Most of these will be a 3 or 4 because everything modern is for tasteless casuals.
  • Anything tagged with the terms “psychological”, “deconstruction” or “GAR” is automatically a 7 or above. Madoka Magica doesn’t count because it’s about cute girls.

6. Memorise the commandments of Elitism

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Now that you’ve gotten the hang of rating Anime the correct way, you should remember to practice the following rules every single day. There’s a lot of these, but you should make sure to remember them all:

  • Although Anime is a medium that encompasses a synthesis of elements, script is the only one that matters. Visuals, directing and soundtrack don’t mean a thing. Redline is the exception to this rule for no real reason.
  • All Light Novel adaptations are instantly terrible and can never be good. Legend of the Galactic Heroes is a Light Novel adaptation, but we will always deny that it is because it isn’t.
  • A show can never get better. If the first episode is bad, the rest of the show is bad. If the first episode is good, it will never be great. Legend of the Galactic Heroes was a 10/10 from the first episode and it never got better or worse after that first episode.
  • If a show is over 100 episodes long and came out after the early 90’s it’s bad. Hunter x Hunter (2011) is the exception to this rule since it’s based on a retro Manga.
  • In the case of Hunter x Hunter (2011) you’re only allowed to like two arcs, the Yorknew and Chimera Ant arcs. The rest are pointless and don’t contribute anything to the story. This is an objective fact.
  • A retro Manga means a Manga from late 90’s or before. This is accurate.
  • Stakes are all that matter in any show. If a show is a low stakes Slice of Life it is automatically terrible because emotional stakes are boring. The Tatami Galaxy is an exception to this rule for no real reason.
  • If anything has a Moe aesthetic it’s automatically terrible because true Anime fans don’t watch cute things. Princess Tutu is an exception to this rule for no real reason.
  • If a show has high levels of violence and isn’t retro or based on a retro Manga it’s “shock factor” and “goreporn” and should be considered edgelord material.
  • All Anime remakes, except for Hunter x Hunter (2011) and Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood are bad and serve no purpose.
  • Any Anime made after 2009 is terrible and you shouldn’t enjoy it. All modern Anime is bad, except for those based on a retro Manga. They don’t count because they’re based on old Manga, even though they are modern Anime, for no real reason.
  • Anything made by Gen Urobuchi sucks. Especially Psycho Pass.
  • On that note, Psycho Pass is a rip-off of Ghost in the Shell even though the series have very little similarities.
  • Anything made by Kyoto Animation sucks. Full Metal Panic is the exception to this rule for no real reason.
  • Anything made by Bones automatically means it has a bad plot.
  • Anything made by Shaft automatically means it’s all about visuals.
  • Romance ruins any Anime because no real reason.
  • Everything must be approached objectively. Subjective opinions don’t count. This guy is wrong.
  • Hype is the biggest problem in the Anime community. This guy is wrong.
  • If anything has fan-service, it is automatically trash. Except Kill La Kill and old Mecha shows because symbolism.
  • If anyone disagrees with you, do not engage in a mature discussion with them. Just make fun of them and call them names. “Narutard” is the best one to use. They’ll probably tell you they don’t like Naruto, but they’re lying. Only Naruto fans would disagree with your objective opinion.
  • Enjoyment should never be a factor when deciding how good a show is. Even though the whole purpose of entertainment is to be entertained, a true Anime fan transcends this and is not allowed to simply sit down and enjoy something.
  • Every show must be logical and make complete sense. If it doesn’t follow logic of makes up its own logic, then its bad. Legend of the Galactic Heroes is the exception to this rule for no real reason.
  • It’s okay to skip entire episodes and story arcs. You can still form an opinion about a show if you’ve skipped half of it.
  • You cannot like more than 50 shows. If you do, you’re a tasteless casual.

7. Share your opinions

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This should be you in every discussion

Now that you’ve made your accounts, scored your shows and memorised the commandments, make sure you frequently post on forums and comment sections and make tweets about how shit everyone else’s opinions are and how you are always right about everything.

sscey
Your Twitter should look something like this

If people disagree with you, make sure you follow the commandments and insult them instead of trying to reason with them because you’re superior to them in every single way.

8. Keep watching Anime (Even though you hate everything about it)

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Now that you’re a fully fledged elitist, you must now continue to consume Anime.

All modern Anime is bad, no show can measure up to Legend of the Galactic Heroes and enjoyment now means nothing to you, but you must persevere and brave the storm.

Why do we still watch Anime if we hate everything about it and bring nothing but constant negativity to the medium and its community?

That’s the biggest mystery of Elitism. I honestly have no idea why we continue to watch a medium we get nothing out of any more, and questioning it is thinking like a tasteless pleb.

If you made it all the way to the end then congratulations on becoming a true Anime fan!

Note: In case you some how didn’t catch on, this entire post was satire. I’m poking fun at elitists and I do not encourage you to actually follow any of this. I hope this made you laugh and I apologise for the language in some parts, it felt necessary to deliver the humour.

If you’d like to see more posts like this, I have a few other ideas that I’d really like to do in a similar style. Thanks for reading everyone!

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50 thoughts on “The Ramblers Guide: How to become an Elitist

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed the post, thank you for reading!

      While I don’t think SAO or AoT are masterpieces, they’re still excellent shows and I feel a lot of people hate them because they’re popular and want to look “cool” and not because they actually hate them.

      Like

  1. Ahahahaha! I can’t wait for that commenter who didn’t finish reading until the end of this post and rip you to pieces…..I’m sure they’re gonna come….they’re just around the corner.

    Anyway, hilarious post. Keep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I never considered that possibility… What have I done to myself?!

      That’ll be funny.

      It’d be funny if an elitist were to actually read this post themselves and realise how silly they act when their personalities are laid bare in a comedic post like this 😛

      Thank you for reading. I’m glad you found my post funny!

      Keep up the good work yourself!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Well. I think there’s probably different reactions from an elitist. One would be that they’ll see how silly they act, like you said. Another would probably be seriously offended, not seeing anything wrong with how they act. Sadly, that’s just how some people are. Anyway, I really enjoyed this post. Keep ’em comin’! 😉

        Like

  2. Sadly the post is very accurate. It’s interesting how people in general tend to tailor their thoughts according to the consensus and thus get the fandom in some ridiculous situations – probably everyone has heard of LotGH and the general opinion about it is just as you said but I wonder how many people have actually seen all of it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, on the more serious side of things, this is a pretty major issue in the community. A lot of people really do act like this, and it’s awful.

      And yeah, a ton of people love to base their opinions on what looks “cool” or makes them look “different”, rather than how they really feel.

      Personally, I actually like LotGH, but it’s not even in my Top 20 series and it’s like a 7/10 for me due to my own personal reasons. It deserves it’s status, but I don’t think it’s a masterpiece or anything. Hence I’m a “pleb” 😛

      I’m probably going to do a big review on the show once I give it another watch to refresh my memory. I feel it’d be an interesting post to write.

      Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, it’s quite a shame but personally I feel that I’m not always able to escape prejudice myself. At least I hope that acknowledging the problem is the first step to solving it.
        As for LotGH, please do write about it as hardly anyone talks about it without stating that there’s no better anime. In any community lack of diverse opinions is an issue and this side of LotGH is clearly not represented at all.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Well, that’s to be expected. We’re only human after all and we all fall victim to our own prejudices from time to time. The important thing is knowing when you’re crossing the line and when you’re not, and a lot of people don’t seem to even know that there is a line and cross it all the time.

          I agree. I feel the show is hardly represented in an average or negative light anywhere, so I’d love to post about it.

          Diversity is what keeps things interesting and one of the reasons I enjoy being a part of the Anime blogosphere so much.

          Seeing so many different opinions and discussing them is one of the things that makes blogging so enjoyable for me.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Sometimes I get burned out watching anime but I grew up with the fandom and people called me a nerd and look down on me. I don’t care I will enjoy anime until I am old age and great post

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The problem with this post is even while I was laughing I was thinking of the handful of people I’ve met online who kind of follow every one of these rules already and that worries me a lot.
    Although, I never knew that “Anything made by Bones automatically means it has a bad plot.” was a thing. It’s one of the few stereotypes on your list I hadn’t encountered.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah totally.

      While it’s all been written for laughs, I based it all off the mindsets of people I encountered on MAL back when I used to do reviews and post on the forums there.

      I’m honestly glad I barely have to engage with these types any more. I’m all for discussion, but talking down other people and acting like you’re better than others is just wrong and unnecessary.

      And surprisingly, that’s a thing these days. “It’s a Bones show, so it’s all over the place” tends to be the attitude, mostly for original stories like the original FMA series or more recently Captain Earth.

      Glad I was able to entertain though, that was my aim 😛

      Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That makes no sense because Snow White with the Red Hair is a Bones show and its about as linear a story as they come.
        Sorry, I love Bones and most of their shows (been a few misses lately for me but it’s one studio I bother to actively seek out new works from).

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I agree, Snow White with the Read Hair is a straightforward, yet excellent show.

          Bones are actually one of my favourite studios. They’ve produced most of my favourite shows this year.

          My Hero Academia, Bungou Stray Dogs and Mob Psycho 100 were all excellent shows and some of my most enjoyable watches this year.

          Some people are just, to put it bluntly, really dumb…

          Liked by 1 person

  5. As an elitist, I am very offended that you would go and criticize our mindsets by talking down to us with this Narutard-minded parody post. This wouldn’t even make it into a Bones-studio anime it was so bad. I am going to write you a strongly-worded letter describing everything wrong with your humor and satire while at the same time bringing up how much better Legend of the Galactic Heroes is than everything.

    (Although I did find an inconsistency within your commandments. “All Anime remakes, except for Hunter x Hunter (2011), are bad and serve no purpose.” The biggest elitist I know actually considers FMA:B the superior version, as it focuses more solely on the manga. I think that’s true based on how much higher Brotherhood is in ratings.)

    Great post, dude.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I genuinely thought you were serious until the Narutard part haha.

      Excellent comment! 10/10 😛

      Oh, my bad actually. I completely forgot about FMA: Brotherhood. Most elitists actually do have that opinion, I guess I should amend that for consistency.

      Thanks for reading and engaging with the humour! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. lololol this was an awesome post! Satire but unfortunately true. I went to target dressed in my Halloween costume (scouting legion,aot) and the cashier clearly knew who I was dressed as and was trying to be non-chalant about it and was like “are u from the scouting legion” and I said yes I am. And then then like rolled his eyes and was like “yeah I mean..i didn’t watch it or anything but..i know it’s really popular. To the point it’s considered a ‘gateway anime’.” Hand quotes included. He just had such an attitude about it like he was too cool for Attack on Titan. I just smiled and nodded and then went on my way. My friend with me who isn’t an anime fan or familiar with my character and she was offended this guy was talking down to me. Damn elitists!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!

      Wow, we’re in a day in age where Attack on Titan is considered a “gateway” Anime? It sure is popular, but it’s not “gateway”. Dragon Ball is gateway. Death Note is gateway. Attack on Titan? Mainstream maybe, but not gateway.

      Even so, who cares really? No need for the attitude, it’s a solid show.

      Smile and nod is by far the best way to deal with these kinds of people. Like what you like, be who you are. Don’t give them the satisfaction. My reaction is literally just “Cool, whatever man.” all the time.

      Thanks for reading! I’m glad you enjoyed the post!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know right?! I also thought it was weird he called it a gateway anime! But yeah no one should be have that kinda attitude towards anime. I was surprised he was like that; but oh well! I had other people tell me they loved the costume so I wasn’t too butt hurt haha!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Fantastic post. Couldn’t help but remember all the people that I can think of that this list pertains to. Even a few people on a Facebook group i follow is like this.

    Then again, I also look at myself when reading this post because I have some of the trace elements described in this post. I do have a preference to adaptions of older manga, even though I like a lot of newer anime that come out. I also really like Legend of the Galactic Heroes, even though I wouldn’t call it, or anything else a favorite, I do think it is near perfect in some ways. I also miss regular cell animation from its grittiness, but I love seeing the peak of what modern anime can do with color and visuals. But whatever, people can like whatever they like.

    But yeah, Studio Bones is amazing. 2016 is definitely the year of Bones. Snow White with the Red Hair, My Hero Academia, and Mob Psycho 100 are fantastic. I also like what Mappa and Dean have been producing this year. Some good stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think in some way, shape or form we all have a few sprinkles of the elements in this post, but it’s the attitude that makes the difference.

      If someone were to honestly not enjoy a single modern Anime, then I can understand that. That’s cool, but don’t be mean about it. Don’t act like you’re better than everyone who likes modern Anime.

      I definitely have a preference for older Manga adaptations myself. Hunter x Hunter (2011) is my favourite Anime and Parasyte is also one of my favourites since I read the Manga growing up.

      The Legend is a great a show, no doubt. I can definitely appreciate it for what it is: a grand, well written and epic space opera narrative on an immeasurable scale. It’s a great show, but it’s not a 10/10 for me because… Well, I’ll get into that if I ever write a post about it. I won’t deny that it deserves it’s elite status though, because it’s an amazing show.

      I also miss the grittiness of old animation, and it’d be really cool to see something embody that again. But you’re right, shows like One Punch Man have really set some incredible standards for modern animation, and things keep improving every year.

      At the end of the day, people can like what they like and should be allowed to without being subject to abuse. I hate seeing people get made fun of because they like a certain genre. Who really cares, y’know?

      And yeah, Bones are definitely one of the better studios this year. Mappa are doing great too, and even DEEN with Konosuba and Shouwa Genroku.

      Thanks for reading and for your comment! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. You filthy casual pleb. How dare you dislike Legends of the galatic heroes, despite it being a space fantasy!!! like star wars!!.

    JK xDD. I do love the jibe aimed at That Anime Snob and his countless minions. Honestly though, I don’t understand that mentality. If you like lotgh, then I would have thought star wars would be a good movie to watch, since it has two factions fighting; the empire & sith vs the republic (rebels) & jedi. MAL & anime reddit are as bad as each other.

    Good post though!!! xDD.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like Legend of the Galactic Heroes, but it’s like a 7/10 show for me. It’s an excellent show, and I appreciate it for what it is. I don’t deny it’s well written, but it doesn’t have the same “feeling” as my favourites do.

      Who do you think inspired this post? ThatAnimeSnob is an idiot. A massive idiot. His diehard fans are just as bad. I can’t believe people support such a horrible person.

      Back in my reviewing days on Anime-Planet, I had a few run-ins with his idiocy and proceeded to point out how stupid he was every single time. I don’t even mind his opinions, but it’s his attitude I can’t stand. He doesn’t understand the concept of opinions and thinks there’s only one answer or truth to everything.

      Ugh… I’m talking too much about Snob. I don’t want to talk about Snob. So I’ll stop.

      Glad you enjoyed the post! Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I cannot believe that I am witnessing Marxist propaganda set up by the plebs to storm the already stagnant anime community into an even bigger hole that it’s in. I already knew that the writer was a tasteless casual the second the comedy failed to deliver. This article left such a bad taste in my mouth; I can’t believe I even scrolled through the whole thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hunter x Hunter (2011) [But you’re only allowed to like two arcs because the rest are shit] – OH GOD NO! I adore Hunter x Hunter unreservedly and with my whole heart, I will never be an elitist no matter how many times I flog myself through Legend of the Galactic Heroes (whenever I actually get round to watching it 😛). Pray to the great lord Meruem for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. Every arc and episode of Hunter x Hunter is wonderful in its own right. You’d have to be kidding yourself if you thought Greed Island was “pointless”.

      The Legend is a great show in its own right, but it wasn’t exactly life changing for me haha.

      I will pray to Meruem-sama that you continue to be the awesome Hunter x Hunter fan that you are!

      Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Thank you, Sensei. I am ready to flex my new anime muscle! Off to watch Legendary Galactic Heroes!

    I loved this post. It had me loling so hard the entire way, especially when it got to the commandments part hahaa. Bravo.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is the most hilarious post I’ve read in a long, long time.
    Pure brilliance.

    I haven’t met anyone with this kinda attitude yet and I hope it remains that way.

    Like

    1. Keep doing what you’re doing! What you enjoy is what you enjoy and never let anyone tell you otherwise. Just be happy!

      I have never once taken an elitist seriously. They’re silly people and they have way too much anger and hate for me to even bother associating with.

      That being said, I’ve been poked fun at by these types of people since I joined the anime fandom, so I thought it was time to fight back.

      Glad you enjoyed this post! Thank you for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

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